Back on the Wagon?

I'm pretty mad about it, but I'm back to low-carbing. When I first read the Atkins book three or four years ago, it made such sense to me that I was incensed when half the low-carb blogs I found had been abandoned. I think it's so annoying when people are constantly hopping on and off the low-carb bandwagon. But now I understand how it happens, because it keeps happening to me.

The first time I tried Atkins, I was SO SERIOUS. I took the book at its word when it told me I couldn't have caffeine, and I got scared when other people told me sugar-free candy made them stall. I gave up soda and only ate 2 ounces of cheese per day and limited my heavy cream to mere teaspoons.

By the end of my low-carbing, I had lost 33 pounds, was going to the gym regularly, and fit into clothing sizes I couldn't remember wearing my whole life. I looked great, and looking back at those pictures now makes me sad. The problem was that I felt like I was eating unhealthily. I was living on sugar-free pudding made with heavy cream, crustless pizzas with half a package of pepperoni on top, and all the mayonnaise I could handle.

So I decided that I was going to start eating only "natural" foods and counting calories. Of course I eventually forgot the natural part and turned meals into a game of How Many Chicken Fingers Can I Fit Into 1200 Calories Per Day?. I gained all of my weight back plus more, as everyone seems to. Since then, I've casually low-carbed, meaning that I eat right for a day or two and then decide it's fine if I have just one pita and then one bag of chips and then one cupcake.

I've been quietly maintaining about the same weight that way for a while, but I'm sick of it! I'm sick of rifling through my closet every morning for something that actually fits. I'm sick of feeling hungry yet bloated after every carby meal. I'm sick of knowing I could change everything if I could just stick to the way of eating that I actually believe in.

So, here goes. Again.