Visualizing the Unseen Enemy

When Katie and I were in the 7th grade, we were selected to participate in this special summer program called Women in Science, where we got to hang out with other smart girls from our school and do nerdy, science-y things together like dissect frogs and sheep's hearts and learn all about different diseases and stuff.

I'll never forget how our first lab project on the first day of this program involved looking at the nutrition labels on Snicker's Bars and bags of Cheetos and measuring out and melting wax in amounts equal to the number of grams of dietary fat in each of these items. When we were done, we had these little test tubes full of fat-resembling wax, and we were supposed to be shocked into understanding just how bad these foods were for us. We felt cool that we had used Science to make visible a perceived threat that usually remained hidden.

Looking back on this little experiment, I'm incredibly struck -- first of all -- by how cruel it seems to try to shock adolescent girls by teaching them to fear fat at a time when they are just beginning to realize how much society will value them (or harshly judge them) based on the size and shape of their bodies. Secondly, it's so interesting to me how easily we accepted that dietary fat was the enemy, and none of us had ANY idea that it could be the sugar in those foods that actually caused more damage to our health and our waistlines.

This site that shows the amount of sugar in various foods and beverages totally reminds me of that fat-lab from all those years ago, only this time it gets the real culprit right.

I'd never sit down to 54g of sugar in cube form, even though I've had my fair share of King Sized Snickers Bars.

We never would have thought to measure anything in a Coke, since it's "Naturally Fat Free!", but check out all that sugar.

Ahhhhh!

So what do you think? Does seeing the sugar content in a food deter you from eating it?

Cheat and Feel Empowered

Tracey and I spend a lot of time discussing how other low-carbers love to act like they never make mistakes. Before I knew anything about the diet, I once asked the most popular Belly Fat Cure blogger how she's handled her need/desire to "cheat" on the plan.

Her response? "I've never cheated."

My response? "LIAR!"

Now, kidding aside, I really do believe there's a possibility that this woman has stuck to her diet all along. On a plan like the Belly Fat Cure, you're allowed enough savory carbs that chips, pasta, and even bread are all acceptable.

But Tracey and I crave sugary baked goods! Cupcakes! Cookies! Ice cream! And lots of them! Most of me truly does believe that my body is better off without sugar, but part of me doesn't want to live life without it.

My way of dealing with it is to let myself have what I want when I need to but to remind myself how much better life is without it the next day. On Friday night, for instance, I could have brought along a low-carb protein shake or meal replacement bar to my recently-married friend's get-together, but I knew there was no way I was going to be able to pass up pizza, Doritos (my favourite!), chicken wings, homemade banana pudding with Nilla wafers, and the top layer of their wedding cake.

So I just ate it. All of it and as much as I wanted of it. I didn't make myself feel guilty about it, and I had a much better time at the party because I wasn't putting pressure on myself to "perform" the way the diet wants me to.

But the next day, I went right back to eating low-carb. And yesterday, three days later, I was down 4.2 pounds.

Diet Sabotage

Recently, Amber from Me and Jorge wrote about how losing so much weight that she had to buy a new wardrobe "wasn't as fun as you would think", because it meant replacing everything from bras to bathing suits. When I lost 30 pounds on a low-carb diet a couple of years ago, not being able to fit into my old clothes was a major de-motivator for me.

In fact, I think it was part of the reason I sabotaged myself and started eating carbs again, allowing me to eventually gain back all of the weight I'd lost (and more!). It's not like I own any designer clothes or anything remotely worth caring about losing, but not fitting into my old clothes seemed way more scary than fitting into new clothes seemed exciting. There was this one stupid $20 shirt from H&M in particular that hung off of me in such a sad way after losing 20 pounds that I had to fold it up and stick it in the back of a drawer.

I don't even know why I held onto it, but I'm glad I did, because I pulled it right back out as soon as I stupidly decided that a low-calorie diet was right for me and went back up two sizes. If only I'd known that being able to wear it again doesn't feel nearly as good as not wearing it felt bad.

This time around, I'm trying to recognize my self-sabotage and the (sometimes unwitting) sabotage of the people around me and sticking with what I know works for me.

Friday Meatspiration

Turbaconducken (Turducken wrapped entirely in bacon):

Bacon Cheddar Ranch "Skins"

(Hat tip to Lucy, whose Jalapeno Poppers reminded me of cheesy potato skins and inspired me to whip these up for dinner.)

What would you get if you took a sliced-up green pepper, spread it with ranch-flavored cream cheese, and topped it with bacon and cheddar cheese? Reminiscent of both jalapeno poppers and crispy potato skins, these super easy Bacon Cheddar Ranch "Skins" can help to fill the void left by your local dive's high-carb appetizers.

Green peppers were what I had on hand, but you could easily use red or yellow bell peppers, or even halved jalapenos as the base.

Ranch Cream Cheese Spread:

This makes way more than enough for one or two peppers, but it's just so much easier to use full packages of things. Plus, it will keep for a long time in the fridge, and it doubles as an excellent veggie dip or sandwich spread.

-8 oz. cream cheese, softened (or any combination of cream cheese, sour cream, & mayo equaling 8 oz.)
-1 packet, ranch seasoning mix (I used Hidden Valley)

Mix ranch seasoning into cream cheese until smooth and thoroughly combined. (A spoon gets this job done pretty easily, but I won't judge if you break out the hand mixer.)


Bacon Cheddar Ranch "Skins":

-1 or more peppers, cut lengthwise into quarters or eighths
-Ranch Cream Cheese Spread (see above)
-Bacon, cooked crispy (I used a half-strip per "skin")
-Shredded cheddar cheese

Lay pepper sections with the inside part facing up on a baking sheet or on a microwave-safe plate, depending on your cooking preference. Spread the inside of each piece with Ranch Cream Cheese Spread, top with bacon, and sprinkle with cheddar cheese. Broil, watching closely, or microwave in 20 second increments until cheese melts. Enjoy!

Variation: Cut your peppers into thin strips and smother with cheese and crumbled bacon, ranch dressing, or chili to make your own loaded "fries". Microwave or broil to heat through until cheese is melted.

And Yet, I'd Still Eat One

Photographer Dwight Eschliman has marvelously deconstructed a Twinkie, photographing each of its 37 or So Ingredients separately.


Check out a sampling of the various liquids, oils, and powders that come together to create the iconic snack cake:

Glucose

High-Fructose Corn Syrup

Polysorbate 60

Cellulose Gum

Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate

Red 40

FD&C Yellow #5

Every Meal is a Decision

It's no secret that food is expensive in NYC. Probably more expensive than anywhere else in the country. My boyfriend and I don't go out to dinner without spending $100 or more, and sites like Midtown Lunch that focus on cheap options end up profiling a whole lot of street vendors who offer neither ambiance nor service. Even when we order in, we easily spend $40 with tip.

So I tried to go grocery shopping Monday night. I stuck to the outside aisles for fresh ingredients like they tell you to, venturing into the other areas only for condiments and a box of cereal for my carb-lovin' boyfriend. I bought:

green peppers
red onions
whipping cream
unsweetened almond milk
turkey breast
chicken breasts
dark chocolate
cream cheese
hot dogs
butter
baking cocoa
cereal
eggs
herb salad
bacon bits
spicy ranch salad dressing
mayonnaise
mustard

And do you know how much my bill was?

EIGHTY-EIGHT DOLLARS. And that doesn't include any of what I'll spend on lunch at work this week.

Clearly that's cheaper than the $40 my boyfriend was spending on us every night, but it's still oppressively high, and now it makes sense to me that people talk about being too poor to afford eating well. When I was at my poorest, which was naturally in college, I was living on all-carb Pasta Roni. (Not ramen, mind you, because I had class.) And I was buying it in Ohio, where everything is so inexpensive it hurts me to think about it now.

And of course my immediate thought was that I could buy a whole lot more clothes and ebooks and movie tickets if I stuck to cans of Chef Boyardee. I don't want to have to choose between eating what's good for my body and saving money, because I'll almost always make the wrong choice.

This is also a problem for me when it comes to eating out. With everything being so expensive here, I want the most delicious thing possible for my dollar. When I see a salad costing $12 right next to a breaded buffalo chicken sandwich with fries for $10, it's an easy choice. And even if that sandwich is $14 instead, it's well worth that extra $2 for me to get the dish I'll really enjoy, even though I know the salad's much better for me in the long run.

Every meal is a decision to change my life, and it's never an easy one.

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Diet Advice, Social Eating, and Feminism

(Cross-posted at Unapologetically Female)

You know the standard diet tips that are always showing up everywhere? The ones we've all heard a million times, but the magazines keep printing them, and the thin and bubbly morning news anchors keep filling segments with them? Sometimes, I feel like the media is droning out an endless Lost-style radio signal telling us to take the stairs, use smaller plates, and stop eating hours before bedtime.

While I find the repetition of many of these tips mildly annoying, there's one that I keep seeing that really gets under my skin: the one that advises we avoid eating alone.

The logic behind this tip is that people who consume most of their food in the presence of others apparently let their self-consciousness about appearing gluttonous get in the way of stuffing their faces. And while this advice may work wonders for some people, it's totally lost on me for a couple of reasons:

1) I've realized over the years that I'm what you might call a social eater. For me, food -- especially junk food full of sugar and starch -- is more fun when it's being shared. While I can stay on track with a healthy eating plan with few problems by myself, I often find a way to use getting together with friends as an excuse to stop caring about what I'm putting into my body. Sadly, this has meant that the times in my life when I feel the most fulfilled socially are also the times when I tend to gain the most weight, and rededicating myself to health and weight-loss often means having to isolate myself for a while in order to develop new habits.

Part of the problem is that I feel like I'm less fun (maybe even less me) when I'm ordering a salad instead of fries and drinking water instead of soda. I've never smoked, and I rarely drink, but I imagine the psychological process involved is similar for people who smoke or drink socially. I have this strong feeling that such indulgence is somehow necessary to my good time. Remember that study that came out a few years ago claiming that people with fat friends are more likely to also be fat? It made sense to me, because I think people just like surrounding themselves with like-minded people who enjoy similar things. Katie and I talk a lot about how there are so many people out there who just don't seem to care about food the way we do, and we both agree that it's much harder to relate to these people socially. Similarly, I doubt someone who thinks a party isn't a party without alcohol would get a lot of enjoyment from hanging out with me, but if you're always in the mood to get together and consume a large pizza and a tube of raw cookie dough, I'm your girl.

2) Those who know me well know that I'm a raging feminist who resents how women in our culture live in a regime in which we are constantly judged by our behavior and appearance and encouraged not to take up too much space. And the "friendly" dieting advice telling us not to eat alone actively counsels us to yield to insecurities derived from societal rules about how much and what types of foods women should be eating. In a culture in which we are are constantly taught that men are entitled to rich foods in large amounts and women are not, diet advice that encourages this sort of self-surveillance in women (anyone else read Foucault in college?) serves to further entrench gendered oppression and inequality.

My problem is that my feminist consciousness makes me want desperately to rebel against diet culture, even though I often actively participate in it, and that creates an ambivalence in me about eating that makes me go back and forth between trying to eat really healthfully and wanting to lash out at the diet industry by eating whatever the hell I damn well please, thankyouverymuch. It's not that appetite and/or fatness are inherently feminist, but in our sexist culture, unapologetic appetite and/or fatness in women is inherently political. And throughout my life, I have taken a special pride in being able -- in the presence of others -- to "eat like a man". I don't know that it's ever even really occurred to me to worry that people might think I'm eating too much, but I hate it when other people know I'm watching what I eat, because it makes me feel antifeminist and stereotypically girly.

I'm interested in hearing what others think about this. Do your individual health goals sometimes end up conflicting with your self-image or your personal politics, and if so, how do you deal with it? Which conventional diet/fitness/health tips annoy the crap out of you?

Friday Meatspiration

Meat Tea Cup:




Hommage a Meret Oppenheim, Betty Hirst