Thanks a whole heck of a lot for switching ALL of your packeted salad dressings to fat free. Was that really necessary? That tiny packet of ranch you tried to give me for my grilled chicken salad today had fourteen grams of carbs in it. Fourteen! It should have been obvious from the bacon and cheese on my salad that I'm not afraid of a little fat. I don't need or appreciate your futile attempts to keep me "healthy" by offering me a gross-tasting, sugar-filled version of my dressing of choice. I'm cool with you offering more choices of dressings to satisfy consumer demand for lower calorie options. I understand that customers like me who refuse your crackers but want extra bacon and full-fat dressing are rare. But come on! What kind of establishment stops keeping around good old trusty full-fat ranch dressing?!
And that little flimsy plastic side-cup of usually-for-sandwiches ranch you ended up giving me? The one you assured me was regular ranch? It popped open and spilled all over the inside of my to-go bag before I even made it to the car.
(In other news, I did I quick Google Search to see if I could easily find a Subway picture or logo to put with this post, and I found this. Is it weird to anyone else that this exists?)