In case you're like me and don't ever actually watch the videos people post, here's the part I like:
I hate skinny people, because they don't empathize with fat guy problems. You ever have a skinny friend, and you try to tell him, "I just wish I could have one doughnut and fuckin' walk away. I wish I could do that. I wish I had the power to eat a doughnut"? And your skinny friend's like, "Well, just eat the doughnut, then. What's the big deal? Just have a doughnut if you want one. Totally go ahead and have one. Just enjoy yourself and have a doughnut if you like them." Fuck you! You don't get it. It's a whole spiral that begins with a doughnut and later I'm killing hookers and don't even remember what happened.
It's not just that I hate skinny people for not understanding why I want to eat a lot; I hate them for not wanting to eat a lot themselves. I really do have a co-worker who buys a two-pack of wrapped doughnuts every day at lunch, eats one, and offers the other one around. Sometimes he doesn't even finish the first one. I really hate him. And then my other co-worker always takes the second one but also goes to the gym every morning for two hours, so I don't have to hate him as much.
