UNBREADED: Diet Sabotage

Monday, August 23, 2010

Diet Sabotage

Recently, Amber from Me and Jorge wrote about how losing so much weight that she had to buy a new wardrobe "wasn't as fun as you would think", because it meant replacing everything from bras to bathing suits. When I lost 30 pounds on a low-carb diet a couple of years ago, not being able to fit into my old clothes was a major de-motivator for me.

In fact, I think it was part of the reason I sabotaged myself and started eating carbs again, allowing me to eventually gain back all of the weight I'd lost (and more!). It's not like I own any designer clothes or anything remotely worth caring about losing, but not fitting into my old clothes seemed way more scary than fitting into new clothes seemed exciting. There was this one stupid $20 shirt from H&M in particular that hung off of me in such a sad way after losing 20 pounds that I had to fold it up and stick it in the back of a drawer.

I don't even know why I held onto it, but I'm glad I did, because I pulled it right back out as soon as I stupidly decided that a low-calorie diet was right for me and went back up two sizes. If only I'd known that being able to wear it again doesn't feel nearly as good as not wearing it felt bad.

This time around, I'm trying to recognize my self-sabotage and the (sometimes unwitting) sabotage of the people around me and sticking with what I know works for me.

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Tracey · 762 weeks ago

Huh. I'm surprised to read that getting new clothes seemed scary to you, because I would think it would seem so exciting.

Right now, for me, losing a little weight would mean I would suddenly and miraculously fit into the three-fourths of my closet that is too tight, but I also know that if I somehow passed that point and had to buy all new clothes, I would be freaking out. Partly because I'm poor, and partly because I would be too scared to invest in all of these new things when I'd be afraid I'd just gain the weight back anyway. That piece of advice that you're supposed to throw away all of your fat clothes is scary -- maybe it forces you to keep the weight off so that you don't have to buy new fat clothes, but I really like the comfort of knowing I have them.

3 replies · active 762 weeks ago

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plumpdumpling 64p · 762 weeks ago

It WAS exciting, but I think I made a major mistake in buying some clothes that I wouldn't have fit into for months. I kept trying on these dresses and waiting for them to fit, and when they didn't, I felt like it wasn't working and started eating carbs again. Even though everyone was telling me my body was changing every day.

Are pictures the answer to that? We always talk now about how we can see how thin we were back then, but if we had compared old pictures to current pictures, would we have been able to see the difference at the time?

I do think it's important to hold on to your "fat clothes" just to let you know when you've gone too far. I wanted to start low-carbing again when pants that used to be too big for me suddenly fit again. Now I realize that even when I get to a point where I'm comfortable enough with my weight to start adding in some more carbs, I need to monitor myself using clothes or weight.

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Bachelor Girl · 762 weeks ago

That's what was really hard for me - after about 10 pounds, I could fit into all the clothes I still had and loved but couldn't wear because they were too small for me. But after 20 pounds, nothing fit, and I looked like a kid wearing her big sister's clothes. I couldn't afford to replace my wardrobe fast enough to keep up with my weight loss, and I think I did sabotage myself.

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plumpdumpling 64p · 762 weeks ago

I hadn't realized you'd ever sabotaged yourself. Did you gain weight back or stall or what?

I think it must be especially hard for someone like you who's really into fashion. A lot of why I want to lose weight is to be able to wear styles I like but would currently look awful in, but I also want to look good in the clothes I own right now. I imagine it's tenfold the pressure for you to fit into designer clothes but also tenfold the desire to look good now.

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Grace2882 · 762 weeks ago

Oh I understand the clothes buying stress. I never would have dreamed how emotionally draining and terrifying it would be to go from shopping in the women's department to shopping in the lower sizes. My daughter was with me and she had to keep taking me by the arm and leading me back to other department. I know in my head that i should have been celebrating but it was terrifying and I was out of my comfort zone. I wanted to cry in the middle of the department store. I of course have now accepting this wonderful new area of my life but when going from a size 22 to a size 8 it was STRESSFUL!!!

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plumpdumpling 64p · 762 weeks ago

This brings back memories of when I was 30 pounds down and had to buy a SMALL at Old Navy. I had these fears of everything in the store being too big for me and never being able to shop there again, which is RIDICULOUS.

22 to 8 is incredible, but I'm sure it was crazy trying to figure out how to dress an entirely new body. It's funny that the rapid weightloss that usually comes with low-carbing should mean extra motivation but is sometimes too much for us to handle.

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Tracey · 762 weeks ago

I think another one of my problems with the whole clothing situation is that my "style" (which I fully understand is anything but an actual style) meant that I didn't really have to get new clothes. Sure, I bought a few newer, smaller things, but for the most part, I just kept wearing men's graphic tees and jeans -- clothes that let me gain weight without me ever noticing because they continued to fit fine, even if a little tighter. But in those pictures from when I was at my lowest weight, I can totally tell how much thinner I am even though I'm wearing the same thing. I wish I could see that more when I'm in the moment, but all I could think about back then was how I still hadn't reached my goal, so I couldn't be happy.

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Kim · 762 weeks ago

In 2005 I lost 20 or so pounds without even noticing it was happening and it seriously felt like I woke up a size 4 one day (which is probably the appropriate size for my build and height, but I've always been at least 10 pounds overweight). All my clothes were hanging off of me and I was borrowing dresses from my tiny thing of a roommate, who mocked me briefly when I bitched about how I couldn't fill out the seat of any of my pants but my boobs were still huge. It was the only time I had any sort of negative connotation about losing weight, and it only lasted until I went shopping and pretty much reveled in prancing around in front of the dressing room mirrors. Maybe I couldn't really afford the new wardrobe, but I bought it anyway and it's a total motivator both when I can and can't wear my favorite green dress. As in, when I can wear it, I'm happy, but also wonder how great it would feel like if it were to become too big, and when I can't wear it, I know I'm not as satisfied as I COULD be with my body.

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Monday, August 23, 2010

Diet Sabotage

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