Monday, August 23, 2010

Diet Sabotage

Recently, Amber from Me and Jorge wrote about how losing so much weight that she had to buy a new wardrobe "wasn't as fun as you would think", because it meant replacing everything from bras to bathing suits. When I lost 30 pounds on a low-carb diet a couple of years ago, not being able to fit into my old clothes was a major de-motivator for me.

In fact, I think it was part of the reason I sabotaged myself and started eating carbs again, allowing me to eventually gain back all of the weight I'd lost (and more!). It's not like I own any designer clothes or anything remotely worth caring about losing, but not fitting into my old clothes seemed way more scary than fitting into new clothes seemed exciting. There was this one stupid $20 shirt from H&M in particular that hung off of me in such a sad way after losing 20 pounds that I had to fold it up and stick it in the back of a drawer.

I don't even know why I held onto it, but I'm glad I did, because I pulled it right back out as soon as I stupidly decided that a low-calorie diet was right for me and went back up two sizes. If only I'd known that being able to wear it again doesn't feel nearly as good as not wearing it felt bad.

This time around, I'm trying to recognize my self-sabotage and the (sometimes unwitting) sabotage of the people around me and sticking with what I know works for me.